when the weather ...

when the weather changes back and forth as fast as it has been, my sinuses cannot decide when to function. as a result my nose gives up at the most inconvenient times, and i spend the mornings trying helplessly to stop the bleeding. * * * i have this habit of going out in the rain to develop photos while leaving a kettle to boil dry on the stove. walking up the stairs i can smell the damage. walking into my apartment i know my roommate has already passed out in the room beside mine after drowning in a bottle of sub-standard sherry. * * * i tend to avoid silly western superstitions, such as opening an umbrella indoors and the reading of horoscopes. i prefer the lucky numbers i used for childhood team sports, although i rarely make reference to them today. my grandmother came to this country approximately thirty-five years ago, she brought with her five children and superstitions of a foreign continent. from across the ocean i've come to appreciate her ginseng roots and orange peels that are older than she can remember. * * *i've been dropping things everywhere lately. food, names, coins, people. i try to recall whether it was hansel or gretel that left the trail of bread crumbs behind themselves. (i don't even know if i am referring to the proper tale.) i think subconsciously i want to leave this place, but won't let myself go. there are holes in my pockets where the anchors fall. cracks in the sidewalk from where they land.